Category Archives: Random

A Tale of Two Lawyers

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way.” A Tale of Two Cities, By Charles Dickens

Two lawyers got in a lift. One came rushing through just as the doors were closing. They greet each other enthusiastically. They seemed happy to see each other. They talked about having to be in court later that day. There were two other people in the lift. A tall gentleman and a girl. It took a few seconds for the lawyers to notice the girl. Maybe because she was short and at the back of the lift. She looked like she was lost in thought, a slight frown on her face. Maybe she was thinking about serious stuff. She was in fact thinking about the ribs and fries she indulged in the previous night, and what the effects would be to her waistline. Maybe she should have used the stairs this morning. It took a bit longer for the girl to notice the change of tone in the conversation. The excited chatter had turned serious.

“So what do you think will happen to those guys” Lawyer One said in a loud voice. A bit too loud the girl thought. After all lift car was small. But maybe a loud voice was needed for his job.

“Which guys?” His colleague clearly was clearly not reading from the same script.  By this time they had aroused the girl’s interest so she was looking at them from the corner of her eye; she saw the Lawyer 1 nod in her direction. Lawyer 2 said, “Oh those guys.  I don’t really know.” He  still looked slightly confused. As though wondering where this was going.

“Yes, the terrorists that were sent to Uganda. I think they will be hanged.  People like those have no rights. Terrorists need to be hanged.” Lawyer 1 continued. Lawyer 2 laughed nervously, casting a furtive glance towards the girl. The girl still looked lost in her thoughts. “We have no place in this country for these kind of people! They should all be thrown out and go to their home!” Lawyer 1 had now abandoned all pretense and was now looking directly at girl. The girl, her fists clenched, gritted her teeth and worked very hard to maintain her look of being blissfully oblivious.  The lift got to 7th Floor, a law firm and they got off. Lawyer 1 seemed very pleased with himself. He probably felt he had done his patriotic duty for the day. Put those damn foreigners in their place! Did I mention the girl was wearing a hijab?

Before I continue, I want to say that I, like many Muslims that I know, was completely against the bombing that happened in Uganda, and I am not in any way represented by Al-Shabaab, Osama Bin Laden or any other terrorist groups.  It is wrong and against my religion.

I don’t know many lawyers. About 3, and 1 hopeful currently studying for his Bar exams (S/O to Ted Wandera). But, as a lay person, I would think that lawyers would have a better grasp of matters of law. And  politics. And there is a lot of politics behind the illegal extradition of Kenyan citizens to Uganda for prosecution. This judge thought so. But I don’t want to discuss that right now.

I’m not even offended that the guy mistook me for Somali simply based on the hijab. It has happened many times before. However, we should note there are Kenyan Somalis. Assuming that all of them are refugees and hence affiliated to Al-Shabaab and need to be rooted out of the country is wrong. My best friend  from high school was Somali. Her shags is not Mandera, or Wajir but Narok, in Masaai land. I would think a lawyer would be in position to know the difference. Or maybe I’m giving him too much credit. Maybe all he needs for his job is a loud voice and stereotypical opinions. I don’t know.

All I know is that I HATE it when someone challenges my credentials as a Kenyan and questions my right to be here simply based on how I’m dressed.  Should I walk around with a copy of my family tree going back more than  100 yrs to prove that I am a valid Kenyan? Or maybe I should wear my ID like a name tag.

Or maybe the threat of a bulging waistline made me overly sensitive this morning. I don’t know.

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NO means NO; Not MAYBE, not LATER, and DEFINITELT not TRY AGAIN next year!!

I apologize in advance for the little rant session I’m going to indulge myself in. Also I’ll consider this part public service announcement.

There’s a certain guy, who tried to hit on me sometime last year. I didn’t feel him that way and he timing wasn’t right for so I gave him a polite but firm “No, but no thanks.”   That didn’t convince him and dude continued asking me out. I’m the kind of person who takes long get mad. I try as much as possible to handle stuff cordially. So you can imagine how much he had made a nuisance of himself before I finally snapped and told him off rudely. Dude got upset and stopped talking to me. As far as I was concerned, good riddance. I had too much going on in my life at that time to worry about pacifying a grown a* and stubborn man!

Fast forward to yesterday. Out of the blues dude sends me an IM. He was polite, so I responded and we chatted a bit; the usual, how you been, what you up to etc.  Those who know me, know that I don’t keep grudges and I’m willing to let bygones be if someone behaves well. So I didn’t give him grief. BIG MISTAKE.

As soon as I log in today, dude is on my IM. At first it was ok, just catching up about mutual friends. I should have seen the first red flag when he told me “Saw your guy, M the other day”  Erm, dude has never met anyone I’ve dated. So I asked him who he was talking about. Turns out it was a pal of mine so I told him we never dated. Inane chit-chat later he asks me what I’m doing this evening, tell him I’ve got plans. What about weekend, got plans too.  Next weekend, sorry I have plans then too.  As much as it’s true that I do have plans on all those days, anyone would have seen that I was using that not to see him. He didn’t get the hint.   Next question, and by this time I’m seeing the red flags like a bull being taunted by a matador

Him: “Are you dating someone?”

Sigh.

Me: “I’d rather not say”

Silence

Him: That sounds like you’re not, cos if you were you would have told me.

Me: Fine. (Anyone who knows women knows that “fine” is really not fine!

Him: So why don’t you want me

Me: *Gritting my teeth* Can we please not have this conversation again? We discussed this last time

Silence

Him: If you don’t want to date we could have a FWB.

Me: *Against my better judgement* FWB?

Him: Friends With Benefits 😉 (Yes, good people, he put a wink at the end!)

I could almost hear the  snap when this camel’s back broke. So I told  him, with brutal honesty, exactly why I don’t want to date him! I don’t think he will ever talk to me again. I hope.

What exactly happened here? Is it just that the he isn’t used to being told no, or was he just assuming that by saying No I was playing hard to get? I know there’s a saying that goes like “persistence breaks down resistance” but I would have thought by how rude I was to him the first time he would have gotten it loud and clear. Gentlemen, contrary to popular belief, we women do know what we want, most of the time, and we definitely know what we DON’T  want. Majority of us do not like playing mind games, so please, if I tell you no, I mean it, so please take me at my word.

Midnight Thoughts

~~~

The silent whispers of my heart,

So faint, you can barely make the words.

The restless murmurs of my soul,

So dark, you can barely see the pain.

~~~~~

Thankful Thursday

The problem with always looking at the big picture is more often than not we forget that we used small brush strokes to create it. I have a huge problem with that. I’m so busy sweating the big successes that I let small victories pass by.  So in line with being more grateful for the blessings bestowed upon me, I’ll be doing a Thankful Thursday. I’ll try to focus on one good thing each week that I would have otherwise ignored and turn it into huge success. Hopefully with time I will learn that being alive in  itself is a huge victory.

Today I’m thankful for my family.

Family is such constant part of our lives that as much as we know they’re there we rarely acknowledge their presence unless something goes wrong. Sort of like our heartbeats, such a comfort when everything is ok, but the moment  you hear an irregular beat, panic sets in.

I come from a huge family.

My grandmother and her siblings raised their kids like they were all biological siblings growing up in each others houses. This created a close-knit unit and the culture has trickled down. There’s really no cousin or distant cousin in our family. As long as there’s a drop of the same blood flowing  in our veins then we’re all ndugu.

Imagine that the “grandparents” were 7, and they each had at least 6 kids,  and in turn the kids had an average of 3 kids each (that’s us). That’s a HUGE family. There’s a joke in the family that when we have events like weddings, we don’t really need to invite any outsiders, our family is enough to make it quite a celebration. As with all families, and especially our family, which is  such a diverse group, we are not a perfect family. But we all have a strong and amazing bond.

The person who inspired this post is the oldest member of our family; my grandmother. While not technically my biological grandma, she is my grandma. She’s the last surviving of our grandparents and she’s very sick. A prayer to God to give her comfort and give  strength to our family during this time.

Make sure you all be thankful for your families today. Make them the big picture.

Signed

Aisha

Embracing my Inner Child

I have a confession to make.

I’ve never really grown up. Yeah I know, I may look like an adult, act like one (most of the time) and sometimes reluctantly partake in the responsibilities and obligations that are required of an adult but inside me resides a child. And this child rules. The adult in me is a helpless slave to the whims and desires of this child.

The child in me is an acne faced, shy and awkward teenager. I know, of all the stages of childhood to get stuck on, it had to be the most volatile stages of life!!  The pimple faced image stuck on me a long time ago, when I was in primary school, I think.  I went to visit my school mate on a weekend. Her house-help was new and hadn’t met me before,  but when I left a message for my friend I forgot to leave my name. Come Monday at school, she told me she had been told I had come calling. I asked her how she knew it was me and she told me she was told a  “pimple-faced girl” came and she automatically thought of me. Gulp.  So even if I outgrew that stage, the child in me will forever remain that.

The child in me is shy and socially inept. My friends will attest to my clumsiness. I’m the only person I know who can trip while standing still!! And let’s not start on dropping things.  I’m hoping that when I have a baby, my hands would have learned to hold onto something. The adult in me couldn’t quiet conquer flaw.

And yes she’s a shy girl. But this is one of the victories of the adult. You can hardly notice it when you meet. This confident, loud outgoing adult; perfect cover I tell you. Especially in this world of cut-throat everything. There is no place for being timid.

The upside of this child is that this child holds on to my dreams. Without her, I wouldn’t remember what it was like to believe that the world is mine to conquer. This child comes to me when the world has beaten me to a dark corner. And reminds me that I am not alone. That I have been through a lot worse and just like before I can beat it. She teaches me to hope. Without my inner child I wouldn’t know to stop enjoy the sunshine or the laughter of awesome friends. This child fills me with wonder and curiosity at life, and I continue to find joy in even the small things.

So I’m not going to grow up. Let’s face it everyone needs a child’s perspective and insatiable pool of optimism to make it through this life!!