Category Archives: Family

Should Wayne Rooney Raise Our Kids?

Everyone who knows me knows I’m an avid football fan. And Manchester United is my team of choice. Although I had a passing interest in them before, I seriously fell in love with Manchester United in the season of 1998-1999. This is the season that Man U managed to make history and win a Treble in one season; The English Premier, The FA Cup and the Champions League. The final matches for that season were dramatic and the climax was coming from behind beat Bayern Munich during injury time.

History!

So right now I am caught in the Wayne Rooney drama. For those who don’t know, Wayne Rooney has been bombarded with accusations of cheating on his wife. Gasp. With a £1200 a night PROSTITUTE. Double Gasp. WHEN HIS WIFE WAS PREGNANT!!! Help me I need CPR!! Yep, that’s just how the British interweb is reacting right now. I can almost feel the excitement jump at me from my scree.n Meanwhile neither Rooney, nor his wife has said anything so far. So I’ve spent most of the day trolling the net reading accusations, analysis and  comments.

A prostitute might lay asunder..

But this post is not about football, per se nor is it really about the clandestine lifestyle of the rich.

Stories like this are getting common in the sports and entertainment scenes and it seems that no one really learned anything from the Tiger Woods debacle. And immediately after the stories break, the comments from the outraged public come in thick and fast. Most of them condemning and self-righteous. People are disappointed in these men and women (as in the example of Alicia Keys) especially because they had been role models to many kids. It’s even worse when the accused had no history or previous indication of the said behaviour. This is the same excuse, as Tiger Woods learned, that the sponsors use when they canceling  all those lucrative endorsement deals.

And I get it, successful sportsmen and even some entertainers are great in helping to motivate our kids and help build confidence in their numerous talents and abilities. And since I decided my male offspring will play football, (£100,000 a week, anyone?) I can understand what kind of influence they can have. But why are we giving  the Tiger Woods of this world be the authority when it comes to the moral upbringing of our children?

First off, these guys didn’t get where they are due to their exemplary character. They had a talent and utilized to become the best in it. But we are partly to blame for placing them on pedestals forgetting that they’re all just living their live albeit in the public eye and are prone to all the stupidity and mistakes that the rest of us make. Secondly, if your child is looking up to these guys for guidance, then as a parent you need to do a serious self-examination. It is your responsibility to make sure you raise your kids right to be able to make the right choices.

So before we go lashing at these “role-models” for living their lives and not being able to handle the responsibilities we imposed on them,  let’s make sure WE are our kids best role models.

And as for Wayne Rooney and his family, my sympathies. But my business with all this is whether he’ll be able to get past this and play well for the team. I hope so. And dude, next time, confidentiality contracts are your best friend!!

What-not Wednesday

Good morning.

I know I was supposed to post the continuation for the Proposal story today, but I’m sorry I am unable to do so. I haven’t managed to write in the last few days. My sincere apologies. I will definitely have the story next Wednesday or sooner if possible.Thanks in advance for your patience

My mind is a bit scattered today so please excuse and allow me to ramble a bit…

My grandma whom I mentioned in  this post passed away on Sunday. The last 3 days have been emotional for my family and we are grateful for all those who have shown us support through their kind words, presence and in any other way. She was the oldest member in our family and her death marks the end of her generation. She leaves a huge gap but as someone said, death is a robe that all of us will one day wear. What is left is for us to map our lives exemplifying  the values she instilled and personified everyday.

Indeed we come from God and Indeed to him we shall return. May Allah forgive her and grant her Paradise. Ameen.

My Grandma- taken last year during Eid. May she R.I.P Ameen

Secondly, I’d like to say something about Ramadhan.

O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqun (the pious). (Qur’an 2:183)

The month of fasting is here with us again. Some people have started fasting today while others will start tomorrow.

Ibn Umar related that the Prophet said: Do not start fasting unless you see the new moon, and do not end fasting until you see it. If the weather is cloudy then calculate when it should appear (Bukhari, Muslim).

Ramadhan is the 9th lunar month of the Islamic Calendar. It starts with the sighting of the new moon and ends with the sighting of the next new moon. In case of failure to see the moon, we are then advised to complete 30 days.  I k now there are different reasons as to why there’s always an issue in regards to the starting and ending of this month(especially in East Africa) but that’s not what I want to talk about.

Last week, Kenyans voted overwhelmingly to support a new constitution. One of the contentious issue was the Kadhi Courts. The head of the Kadhi Courts is the Chief Kadhi and Muslims all over Kenya look to him as an authority as far as matters of religion administration are concerned. I feel that it defeats the whole purpose of fighting for this if we are not united in following the Chief Kadhi. What’s the point of having him there if we won’t respect his authority?

Ibn Umar reported Prophet Muhammed (SAW) as saying, ‘Hearing and obeying are the duty of a Muslim, both regarding what he likes and what he dislikes.’

God knows best.

Wishing you all a Ramadhan Kareem and Saum Maqbul. May we use this month to reflect and improve  ourselves. Ameen

Ramadhan Kareem

Signed

Aisha

Celebrating Motherhood

Today I celebrate the most amazing woman I know. The first woman I ever met. The woman who has influenced me like no other person and she continues every single day. My very own Phenomenal Woman. My mother.

The value of a mother can never be measured and it can never end. Everyone’s mum is special and the greatest gift God gave to us.

I may not always show it, but I’m awestruck by my mum. There is no one in my (HUGE) extended family who has not been touched by her kindness, generosity and guidance. She only gave birth to 3 kids but at different times she has raised like 20 (I kid not). The full deal: feed, clothe, educate, love. Every time I think about the selflessness and capacity for love that is required for any person to do that,  it just blows my mind. My mother personifies the true African women who through struggle, tears, laughter and sheer determination continue to build this continent. Through her I have learned to never give up, never give in and the meaning of  true strength and integrity. I have learned the value of family.  I pray that I become even half the woman who my mother  is.

I appreciate her and love her beyond words. I thank God for my mother.

Happy Birthday Ma. Love you.

God made me a woman…

What is it about us women that can drive us to make a man the sole and the most vital point of our existence? That makes us believe that everything else can stop to matter except that one man? Keeping in mind there are a million other men with more or less the same attributes? Is it in our genetic make up, or is it our emotions?

Before you roll your eyes and label this one more bitter and disillusioned male basher, please read on. I LOVE men, hanging out with them, loving them, just being with them. I believe that men and women cannot live without each other and companionship is very important. But this post was inspired by an incident.

A relative of mine recently split with her husband. That in itself is not stuff that makes blogs anymore, but what led to the divorce is. I think it warrants some recording. The couple had been married for about 2 yrs before the dude was transferred to another city. The husband wanted her to move there as well. However, it would have been very difficult for her to get a new job in the same caliber she had now in the new place. Second problem is that she had a son from a previous marriage. She had fought a bitter battle with her ex husband for the custody of the child, and eventually they came up with the agreement that they would share, with him visiting his dad, every two weekends, and spend half of his school holidays there. So if she were to move towns the dad would claim the child. For a while they tried the long distance thing. But the husband kept up the pressure and eventually she caved in.  So this smart, beautiful, successful woman decided to leave everything, including her son, behind so that she can go be with her man. And herein comes in the twist in the tale. The moment she tells the dude that she’s moving, he drops the bomb. Turns out, dude is already married to someone else, and the pressure for her to move was just a bluff so that he can use that as an excuse to split. Whooooosh!! That took my breath away too!

I’m sure every time she lays awake at night she thinks about all that she was willing to give up for this man. And just how close she got to losing it all. Including the man! I don’t have kids, but I’m lucky to know a number of mothers, and these women would die for their children if they had to. So for a woman to be willing to give up her child, then it must be one heck of a bond!

This made me think. I know of several women who have very successful lives i.e. job, family, friends, but the moment their relationships with their men have issues, then their whole world falls apart. I, myself have been guilty of this. There were times when my family life was falling apart, my career sucked, but because I had this man in my life, you couldn’t get the smile off my face and the joy in my heart. All was well with me.

You gotta give it to men. They have such a unique and interesting hold on us.