Day 2: Letter to My Crush


I wish I met you 5 years ago. Maybe I would have reacted to you differently. Maybe I would have done it different, spoken instead of choosing to keep quiet. I believed in taking risks back then. I believed in living for the moment letting tomorrow take care of itself. I wore my passion in my sleeves, followed my heart and all else paled in comparison. If I didn’t love with every last drop of my being, then it wasn’t worth it. Consequences be damned. The future will take care of itself.

That’s what I thought the day I finally got the courage to look into my heart and realized that what I felt for you was more than friendship. It was somewhere between the endless conversations and the silly laughter. I looked at you and thought: I wouldn’t mind looking at that face for the rest of my life. And then: this would never work. See, if it had been 5 years ago, I would have acted first, thought later. I would tell you how sometimes when we are in the middle of a conversation and I look up and catch you smiling, I get distracted and I just stare. Or when you hold my hand, in a friend like gesture, that long after you let go I can still feel the warmth of your fingers intertwined with mine. Your eyes sometimes leave me breathless in the middle of a sentence. If I had met you 5 years ago, then that evening when we found ourselves looking at each other, unspoken promises in the air, I would have kissed you instead of walking away.

I wish I had met you when my heart was new; when it was easy to believe that love would conquer all. Before it became what it is right now; a puzzle of mismatched glued on pieces. Some pieces missing. Before it was yanked from the realms of naivety and thrown into hard and cold reality. Now there’s an ocean of silence between us. Too much felt, too little said. Nothing left to do. Another piece.

Remember me. Remember that I was there, even though it was just a moment. Remember that sometimes the right people happen at the wrong time. Remember that sometimes the differences that first attract us to each other are the ones that end up keeping us apart. Most important remember that I cared, even when I didn’t show. Especially when I didn’t show.





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  • Diana  On February 10, 2011 at 12:43 pm


  • mwende  On February 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    i love!!!!!

  • kabee  On February 10, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    Awwwwww….. this is beautiful girl. So sad.

  • amondia  On February 10, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    Heh! What to say, but I remember you in your carefree days :-D.
    Beautiful writing.

  • misternv  On February 10, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    “Now there’s an ocean of silence between us. Too much felt, too little said. Nothing left to do. Another piece.”

    ^^ wow.

    PS: On the strength of this moving letter, we forgive you for not strictly sticking to the “30 letters in 30 days” challenge 🙂

    • bintimswahili  On February 11, 2011 at 6:15 am

      Haha.. Thanks..

      I couldn’t stand the image of your disapproving look any more!

      And thanks to you, I have the next one ready for later today 🙂

  • butterfly  On February 10, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    you took the words from my mouth, letters to my crush more like my confession. If i had met u 5 years ago…nice piece

  • Case2Rising  On February 11, 2011 at 7:43 am

    Got goose bumps. This is sad

  • infinitepyro  On February 11, 2011 at 11:18 am


  • AH  On February 14, 2011 at 11:02 am

    Thanks for the inspiration.

  • Nyambura  On February 15, 2011 at 9:00 am

    beeeeautifully expressed

  • wyndago  On February 17, 2011 at 10:47 pm


  • JacqueNdinda  On February 22, 2011 at 7:50 am

    aawww….. I am tempted to ask questions!!!!! Moving piece…. iko wapi barua ingine?

    • bintimswahili  On February 22, 2011 at 7:57 am

      Haha.. Ask, I shall try to answer..

      My creativity has been pretty low, but lemmi attempt to continue..

  • QQ  On April 20, 2011 at 11:35 pm

    Love it! Awww. What differences? Y dint u jus go for it? Ama its fiction? 😦


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