Monday Rant: Don’t. Call. Me. B*tch

I think I attract melodramatic men. Seriously. Remember this guy?.  There must be something about me that forces them to unleash their inner stubborn and obnoxious. Unfortunately for them, it’s usually a bad time for me so it goes unappreciated. And I don’t suffer fools for long. As this idiot found out.

Sometime back, I was having lunch in one of those establishments that was ranted about here, minding my own business. I was feeling relaxed, looking forward to about an hour or so of me time before my next engagement. Since I wasn’t in the mood for company, I was reading a book with my meal. It had been a long morning of running errands. The restaurant was half-empty so it wasn’t noisy. Perfect setting. I was feeling so good, I had one of those half smiles on my face. Maybe I should have frowned a little.

About half-way through my meal, a dude approaches my table and asks if he can join me. I didn’t want him to join me and without even looking up,  I smiled politely and told him I would prefer to sit alone.  He goes away and I’m soon engrossed in the book, while munching slowly at my food.

A few minutes later, dude is back.

“Hey,” he said with what he probably thought was a cute smile.

I look up,  a polite smile masking the laser side eyes I’m giving him. “Yes?” I asked. Anyone could see that I wasn’t amused by his interruption.

But I guess he was dense as well as rude.

“I was wondering,  if I could join you. I see you’re eating alone and so am I. Why not sit together give each other company?” That smile again. As if I should be glad he’s allowing me to share his space. I was ready to wipe it off.

I looked at the free tables pointedly and he at least had the grace to look ashamed. “I know there’s free tables, but come on, I know a pretty girl like you wouldn’t want to sit alone while there’s a good-looking man who wants to keep you company.”

Raised eyebrows. Homeboy has a high opinion of himself. Time to take care of that.

I give him my freeze look. It has been known to turn otherwise confident men into blubbering fools. His smile slips a little.  Good.

I ignored him and continue eating and reading. AND he sits down! Yes, despite saying no thanks and my body language indicating that I didn’t welcome the intrusion, he had the audacity to sit down!! My patience was wearing thin by now.

“So what are you reading?”

Without looking up, “A book.”

“Haha! That’s funny”

“It wasn’t supposed to be”


“So what’s you’re name?” he asked after a few minutes. I couldn’t believe this guy. I was starting to think he was a glutton for public humiliation. I pretended I hadn’t heard him. “Mine’s John,” he continued as if I had answered him.  (yes I’m using his real name, hope he reads this!). I loudly turned a page in my book.

“Ok, so seriously you’re going to ignore me? Don’t you feel bad ignoring someone who’s just trying to be nice to you?”

I looked up and said ” I have no qualms ignoring a rude person.”

“Man, you’re cold.”  Blank look. “Ok, fine I’ll leave you alone.”

He stood up and muttered, “I bet you’re single. That’s why you’re eating alone anyways. I know no man would want a cold bitch like you”

Blink. He didn’t just got there!

Dude will never forget what happened next. I loudly told him just where he can go shove his mediocre attempts at picking up a woman. The other diners looked on with amazement. Management and security were soon involved. And since I was a regular at the place, dude was finally escorted out muttering bitterly. My apologies to the women he took that out on.

You. Don’t. Call. Me. Bitch. Especially since I had been pretty civil the whole time and politely told you to leave me the eff alone!

Seriously though, is it difficult to accept that a woman can sit in a restaurant, enjoying her own company without assuming there’s something wrong with her?

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  • Mitchelle  On January 3, 2011 at 8:30 am

    The bastard deserved it.

  • ranchaway  On January 3, 2011 at 9:10 am

    *high five*

  • Joseph Muga Omera  On January 3, 2011 at 9:15 am

    u should hve told him FUck off, would have saved u a thousand years

  • mwende  On January 3, 2011 at 9:17 am

    LOOOOOL! SUCH A FUCKER! I know you’re too polite to say it but im not! fantastic!

  • Mwirigi  On January 3, 2011 at 9:57 am

    As an expert on rejection with many years of personal, hands-on experience, I must agree with you. Insulting someone simply because they’re not interested in you is simply unacceptable.
    I hope you gave him a piece of your mind and then some, he deserved it!

  • 3CB  On January 3, 2011 at 10:01 am

    I’ll do a proper comment just as soon as I stop grinning 😀

  • bomseh  On January 3, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Poor guy, chose the wrong table or maybe the wrong day. Or he was just the wrong guy!

  • Morray  On January 3, 2011 at 11:54 am

    Oyunga Pala did a piece once on women who sit alone at establishments reading. He seemed to suggest that they are single & are looking and at those establishments. This man might be a disciple of that.. It’s sad though that you had to go through that.. He should have taken no for an answer..

  • Maina  On January 3, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    Can I get a high five from you? Yeah, that is it. #GoodStuff

  • seven  On January 3, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    LMAO!!! Good Grief! *this site has been instantly bookmarked!!*

  • Soviet  On January 3, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    N here i thought you were harmless!!

  • Buggz79  On January 3, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    *Cups gonads protectively* I’mJusSayinHi….Bye!

  • ndinda  On January 3, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    Served him right—- !!! Just like those that kss kss at you—then when you stand and ask them ‘yes, you talking to me?’ ..they hide!!!

  • LaviMark  On January 3, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    lol u bet some ppl really never take no for an answer, must be hard being a chic

  • coloseum  On January 3, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    you should have tucked a slap on his right cheek too…

  • Amira-j  On January 3, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    first and foremost — thank you!! for doing what most girl example mimi would love to do. *bows down * lool was desperation written all over your face—i dont think so but aparantly he thought so! ughhh men just annoy me like that! get a hint buddy —not interested!! hahahah
    thanks for making my day!!

  • Wanjeri Gakuru  On January 4, 2011 at 8:55 am

    LOL!!! I wish someone had taped the whole episode!! Hahaha such an idiot!

  • ---Supreme-G.R.E.A.M---  On January 5, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Some guyz need to polish up their manners. I hope never to raise sons who behave as John.

  • Wamathai  On January 11, 2011 at 9:36 am

    I’m sure he’ll never try that again..

  • Shekyn  On January 12, 2011 at 9:14 am

    Hilarious! Every such man should meet a girl like you who doesn’t take crap from them.

  • Tamaku  On January 14, 2011 at 11:01 am

    Holy JC, that was so mean. You frighten me, lol!

    • bintimswahili  On January 14, 2011 at 1:14 pm

      Haha.. I’m not always that way.. He just pushed my buttons that day.. Honest 🙂

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