NO means NO; Not MAYBE, not LATER, and DEFINITELT not TRY AGAIN next year!!

I apologize in advance for the little rant session I’m going to indulge myself in. Also I’ll consider this part public service announcement.

There’s a certain guy, who tried to hit on me sometime last year. I didn’t feel him that way and he timing wasn’t right for so I gave him a polite but firm “No, but no thanks.”   That didn’t convince him and dude continued asking me out. I’m the kind of person who takes long get mad. I try as much as possible to handle stuff cordially. So you can imagine how much he had made a nuisance of himself before I finally snapped and told him off rudely. Dude got upset and stopped talking to me. As far as I was concerned, good riddance. I had too much going on in my life at that time to worry about pacifying a grown a* and stubborn man!

Fast forward to yesterday. Out of the blues dude sends me an IM. He was polite, so I responded and we chatted a bit; the usual, how you been, what you up to etc.  Those who know me, know that I don’t keep grudges and I’m willing to let bygones be if someone behaves well. So I didn’t give him grief. BIG MISTAKE.

As soon as I log in today, dude is on my IM. At first it was ok, just catching up about mutual friends. I should have seen the first red flag when he told me “Saw your guy, M the other day”  Erm, dude has never met anyone I’ve dated. So I asked him who he was talking about. Turns out it was a pal of mine so I told him we never dated. Inane chit-chat later he asks me what I’m doing this evening, tell him I’ve got plans. What about weekend, got plans too.  Next weekend, sorry I have plans then too.  As much as it’s true that I do have plans on all those days, anyone would have seen that I was using that not to see him. He didn’t get the hint.   Next question, and by this time I’m seeing the red flags like a bull being taunted by a matador

Him: “Are you dating someone?”


Me: “I’d rather not say”


Him: That sounds like you’re not, cos if you were you would have told me.

Me: Fine. (Anyone who knows women knows that “fine” is really not fine!

Him: So why don’t you want me

Me: *Gritting my teeth* Can we please not have this conversation again? We discussed this last time


Him: If you don’t want to date we could have a FWB.

Me: *Against my better judgement* FWB?

Him: Friends With Benefits 😉 (Yes, good people, he put a wink at the end!)

I could almost hear the  snap when this camel’s back broke. So I told  him, with brutal honesty, exactly why I don’t want to date him! I don’t think he will ever talk to me again. I hope.

What exactly happened here? Is it just that the he isn’t used to being told no, or was he just assuming that by saying No I was playing hard to get? I know there’s a saying that goes like “persistence breaks down resistance” but I would have thought by how rude I was to him the first time he would have gotten it loud and clear. Gentlemen, contrary to popular belief, we women do know what we want, most of the time, and we definitely know what we DON’T  want. Majority of us do not like playing mind games, so please, if I tell you no, I mean it, so please take me at my word.

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  • AH  On September 24, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    Must ave been frustrating!!!! He probably thought that u were playing hard to get

  • Thelma  On September 24, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    i feel ur frastration. it has happened to me. even when u say ur dating and they c u with ur man. some just dont stop pestering u.

  • Bruce  On September 27, 2010 at 1:08 am

    tough world out there aisha 4 men, some have to literally bully u to submission.

  • jj  On September 27, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    hahaha classic!!! some guys dont get it!! but i would have been pissed if he said FWB!! what do you take me for… !! shit! he would have gotten a lot of curse words nobody has ever ever heard of..lool..but i have had such experience once..and i told the guy to F of and go to hell and hanged up the phone..apparantily he was chewing miraa (and in the USA) so he wasnt thinking…i was like BS!!

  • Suchi  On September 30, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    That part about FWB is just crazy. Whoever lied to people that if you say no to them you can still be FWB….

  • dyiembo  On October 1, 2010 at 5:45 am

    Frank one there

  • mackel9  On October 12, 2010 at 10:32 am

    *Gulp* Swallowed that 🙂

  • QQ  On October 28, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    LOL. The EXACT same thing happened to me!!! LOL. okay, not exactly the same. But incredibly similar. I say no, and then the guy goes compeletely LOCO. Like, wow. If I had not said no before, I would DEFINATELY say no now. Dude. Get a grip.

  • Joliea  On February 27, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Woiye… I know how you feel. And I can bet like 80% chics can tell the same storo. Plus the story always changes here and there…..

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