What is it about us women that can drive us to make a man the sole and the most vital point of our existence? That makes us believe that everything else can stop to matter except that one man? Keeping in mind there are a million other men with more or less the same attributes? Is it in our genetic make up, or is it our emotions?
Before you roll your eyes and label this one more bitter and disillusioned male basher, please read on. I LOVE men, hanging out with them, loving them, just being with them. I believe that men and women cannot live without each other and companionship is very important. But this post was inspired by an incident.
A relative of mine recently split with her husband. That in itself is not stuff that makes blogs anymore, but what led to the divorce is. I think it warrants some recording. The couple had been married for about 2 yrs before the dude was transferred to another city. The husband wanted her to move there as well. However, it would have been very difficult for her to get a new job in the same caliber she had now in the new place. Second problem is that she had a son from a previous marriage. She had fought a bitter battle with her ex husband for the custody of the child, and eventually they came up with the agreement that they would share, with him visiting his dad, every two weekends, and spend half of his school holidays there. So if she were to move towns the dad would claim the child. For a while they tried the long distance thing. But the husband kept up the pressure and eventually she caved in. So this smart, beautiful, successful woman decided to leave everything, including her son, behind so that she can go be with her man. And herein comes in the twist in the tale. The moment she tells the dude that she’s moving, he drops the bomb. Turns out, dude is already married to someone else, and the pressure for her to move was just a bluff so that he can use that as an excuse to split. Whooooosh!! That took my breath away too!
I’m sure every time she lays awake at night she thinks about all that she was willing to give up for this man. And just how close she got to losing it all. Including the man! I don’t have kids, but I’m lucky to know a number of mothers, and these women would die for their children if they had to. So for a woman to be willing to give up her child, then it must be one heck of a bond!
This made me think. I know of several women who have very successful lives i.e. job, family, friends, but the moment their relationships with their men have issues, then their whole world falls apart. I, myself have been guilty of this. There were times when my family life was falling apart, my career sucked, but because I had this man in my life, you couldn’t get the smile off my face and the joy in my heart. All was well with me.
You gotta give it to men. They have such a unique and interesting hold on us.